(bonus points if you can tell me which TV show this is from)
What if I told you that the secret to success isn’t avoiding failure—but embracing it?
You’ve made mistakes. You’ve experienced failures. So have I. So has everyone you admire. But what if I told you those mistakes and failures weren’t just inevitable—but essential?
They are part of the human condition and experience. But, do we learn from them? Do we see them as opportunities for growth? Do we embrace them? Do we encourage them?
Mistakes and failures are not the enemy. Instead, they are our friends. Our allies to help us be the best version of ourselves.
Mistakes are not dead ends. They are checkpoints, guiding us toward mastery, resilience, and self-discovery. Yet, society often conditions us to view failure as something shameful. The result? We avoid risks, we hesitate, and worst of all—we stop growing. Ryan Holiday shares in Ego is the Enemy, "Failure and adversity are the best educators."
Holy Forking Shirtballs, I’m Actually Learning From My Mistakes!
I didn’t always embrace failure. I am currently a recovering perfectionist. But since I have changed my ways and my mindset, I have found that I am growing and succeeding more each day than I ever did in my perfectionism days.
We recently launched a new ChatGPT course and, with it, a Course Advisor program to get participants to beta test it and give us the nitty-gritty details on everything wrong with it. The initial marketing didn’t go as well as I would have liked; however, I learned a lot from it for future campaigns. The old perfectionist me would have beaten herself up for failing like that. But I found it so valuable and now have new things to try (and even hopefully fail at).
Less business-related, but still failure-related, I started darning socks and clothing a few years back. When I first started, I thought I was doing a fairly decent job, yet when Damien gave me a pair of socks to mend a few days ago, I saw my early work and kinda cringed. They were terrible. But, making those mistakes has helped me craft my craft (LOL), and now my skills are significantly better than when I started. The same goes for crocheting. My first blanket was pretty bad. Yet, I now can make beautiful blankets with complex patterns and really nice sweaters.
Hell, even writing these Book Brew blog posts has been failure in action. I am in the process of taking them, reformatting them, and then testing them out in a different platform. It is so valuable to see the feedback from the readers because often what I think is good is not what the readers like. Enough about me….
Why Failure is a Gift (Yes, Really!)
Every breakthrough—every innovation—has failure at its core. But because failure is rarely shared publicly, all we see is the polished turd highlight reel. Social media shows success, not the stumbles that got them there.
The most successful individuals—from scientists to entrepreneurs—have one thing in common: they failed their way forward.
- Ray Dalio, in Principles, champions the idea that a culture of mistakes fuels learning. It’s not the failure itself that matters but what you do next. Some powerful quotes from his book:
- “If you look back on yourself a year ago and aren’t shocked by how stupid you were, you haven’t learned much.”
- "Mistakes are the path to progress."
- Carol Dweck, in Mindset, teaches that setbacks in a growth mindset become catalysts for improvement.
- “In the growth mindset, failure is a valuable lesson and a catalyst for improvement.”
- Simon Sinek, in The Infinite Game, reminds us that failure is not a stopping point—it’s part of the process.
- "In the Infinite Game, failure is not the end but a necessary part of the journey."
Failure refines us, sharpens us, and teaches us lessons no success ever could.
What Mistakes Teach Us That Success Never Will
- Resilience – When you get knocked down and get up again (yep, even Chumbawamba had it right), you prove to yourself that you can handle adversity.
- Greene touches on this in The 33 Strategies of War: “The rational, resourceful, and resilient strategist converts setbacks into opportunities.”
- Humility – Mistakes keep you grounded. They remind you that there is always room to grow. That you are human, just like the rest of us.
- Creativity – When something doesn’t work, it forces you to think outside the box and try new approaches. The use of Lateral Thinking works great here. Just putting the idea of failure out of the process helps expand your thinking.
- Self-Awareness – Each misstep is an opportunity to understand yourself better—your triggers, weaknesses, and strengths.
- In The Laws of Human Nature, Greene says it wonderfully: “By embracing your flaws and mistakes, you open the door to self-improvement.”
From “Oh No” to “Oh Yeah” (Why Failure is the Kool-Aid Man of Success)
The next time you fail, instead of asking, “Why did I mess up?” try asking:
- “What can I learn from this?”
- “How can I improve?”
- “What would I do differently next time?”
This simple mindset shift transforms failure from something to fear into something to welcome.
Success Stories Built on Failure
Failure isn’t a barrier—it’s a rite of passage. Some of history’s greatest minds (and my favorites) failed before they soared:
- Stephen King had his first novel, Carrie, rejected 30 times. He nearly gave up until his wife encouraged him to try again. Today, he’s one of the most successful authors of all time.
- Bob Marley had his early recordings dismissed, and reggae was seen as unmarketable—yet he went on to become a global music legend whose message still inspires.
- Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team—yet he became one of the GOAT.
Their secret? They didn’t let failure define them. They let it shape them.
And these lessons are just for recent times. Even the Stoics saw the value in failure, as Irvine points out in A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy: "Stoics see setbacks as opportunities to practice virtue and build resilience."
The road to success isn’t paved with perfection—it’s littered with failures that became fuel.
Your Next Mistake Might Be the Best Thing That Ever Happens to You
What if you stopped fearing failure and started using it? What if your next big mistake was the turning point that led to your greatest achievement?
Mistakes aren’t proof that you’re unworthy—they’re proof that you’re trying. And trying means progress.
So go ahead, make mistakes. Fail gloriously. And then, get back up and keep moving forward.
Actionable Steps for Business Owners: Turning Failure into Fuel for Growth
If you're a business owner, failure isn't just a personal learning opportunity—it's a strategic advantage when leveraged correctly. Here’s how to use mistakes to fuel success in your business:
Create a “Failure-Friendly” Culture
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- Encourage risk-taking: Make it clear that mistakes aren’t just tolerated—they’re expected.
- Hold debriefs on failures: Run “Lessons Learned” sessions after projects, launches, or major decisions.
- Reward innovation, not just success: Celebrate employees who try new approaches, even if they don’t always work.
- Ray Dalio’s Advice: “Create a culture in which it is okay to make mistakes and unacceptable not to learn from them.”
Reframe Setbacks as Market Feedback
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- Did a product flop? Think of it as customer feedback in disguise.
- Did a marketing campaign fail? Study the data—what worked, what didn’t, and how can you pivot.
- Lost a client? Ask why—don’t dwell on the loss, but uncover insights that prevent future churn.
Actively Seek Negative Feedback—It’s Gold for Growth
Most businesses fear negative feedback, but the best ones ask for it. Instead of avoiding criticism, lean into it:
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- Ask customers what they didn’t like. Their frustrations reveal opportunities for innovation.
- Encourage brutal honesty. Let clients know you value constructive criticism because it helps you improve.
Bill Gates once said, “Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.”
When you reframe complaints as free consulting advice, you gain an edge over competitors who ignore or dismiss it.
Build a Failure-Resilient Mindset as a Leader
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- Reframe your thinking: Instead of “I failed,” try “I just found a way that doesn’t work—now I’m closer to finding what does.”
- Don’t let perfectionism hold you back: Test, iterate, and launch before everything is “perfect.”
- Embrace The Infinite Game: Success is not a one-time event—it’s a continuous process of adapting and improving.
Study the Failures of Those You Admire
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- Look at the mistakes of business legends
- Learn from their resilience and apply those lessons.
You won’t succeed because you avoided failure. You’ll succeed because you embraced it. So go ahead—fail gloriously, and then rise stronger.
Ponder This
- Can you think of a time when a mistake led to a positive outcome in your life?
- How would your life change if you embraced failure instead of fearing it?
- What’s one “failure” you can reframe as a learning experience today?
Books
- Principles - Ray Dalio
- Minset - Carol Dweck
- The Infinite Game - Simon Sinke
- Ego is the Enemy - Ryan Holiday
- A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy – William Irvine
- The Laws of Human Nature – Robert Greene
- The 33 Strategies of War – Robert Greene