Book Brew 137: We Fired Escapism and Now Contentment Runs the Show

If your “happy place” is anywhere but your life, maybe it’s time to plant some new seeds.  

From Escapism to Contentment

I was having my morning conversation with my mom the other day, and we got on the topic of life and travel and escapism.  

We used to travel a lot (together and separately), but since the pandemic started in 2020, we haven’t travelled much at all.  She said she is perfectly content to stay at home with her cute lil monster animals.  Damien and I are also perfectly content to stay at home with each other.  

So what changed? All three of us have built lives in which we no longer feel the need to escape from.  

The Old Days: Escaping Our Daily Lives

See, before the pandemic hit, my mom had an office job where she was commuting over 2 hours a day and hated it.  

Damien had an office job that he was always incredibly stressed at.  I was killing myself in an ER nursing job, trying to save others.  All three of us hated where we were spending the majority of our time day in and day out.  

Some people use alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, gambling, etc., as escapes.  We used travel.   We physically escaped the situations making us so miserable.

Planting New Seeds

“We can’t control the world around us, but we can always control how we respond to it.”  - William Irvine

I left my nursing career in early 2019 to start my photography business.  My mom was laid off from her corporate job in early 2020, and she found a job where she could work from home.  Damien left his IT career in mid-2020 and we started a business together.  

Travelling was no longer an option.  Without knowing we were doing it, we all adapted and drastically changed aspects of our lives making them so beautiful we no longer had the need to escape.

“Focus on the seeds; not the trees. What seeds are you planting today?” - James Clear

ChatGPT: My Sarcastic Gardening Assistant

If James Clear is right about planting seeds, then ChatGPT is like having a slightly sarcastic gardening assistant. 

How to Use it to Prep Your Garden

ChatGPT can’t plant the seeds for you.  But it can help you by telling you where to buy the shovel, showing you which seeds to pick out, and occasionally reminding you not to overwater your life with junk that doesn’t matter.

Here are a few ways to use it:

1. Start with a clear question. Treat ChatGPT like the curious new intern. You need to tell it exactly what you want. Example: “Give me 5 small habits to build a calmer morning routine.”
   
   
2. Ask for different angles. Not sure where to start? Have it brainstorm options, reframe ideas, or simplify big, hairy, audacious goals. Example: “Turn these 3 goals into small daily actions I can actually stick to.”
   
   
3. Use it to spark ideas, not do all the thinking. ChatGPT is a great assistant in giving you options. You’re still the gardener, but it can help you see where the weeds are and hand you the right tools to extract them.
   
   
4. Experiment and refine. Don’t like an answer it gave, like it went a little too extreme?? Ask it to rewrite, shorten, or make it funnier. Example: “Explain this idea in 3 sentences, but make it sound like a pep talk from Deadpool because I’m not ready for Jocko Willink”

The Real Question

If you find yourself needing to constantly escape, it might be time to start looking for ways to start planting the seeds of a life you don’t have to escape from.  The changes won’t happen overnight, but you can start making little changes each day to get you there.  Trust me (and Damien and my mom), it is a much better place to be than in the land of escapism.

Ponder This

1. What are the “escapes” you lean on most?
2. What seeds (big or small) could you plant this week to create a life you love living?

Books/Newsletters

• 3-2-1 newsletter - James Clear
• From A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy - William Irvine
• Extreme Ownership - Jocko Willink