Last year, Damien introduced me to Dan Sullivan’s ABC Model, which is a method to help you shift your time, energy, and focus on activities that fascinate and motivate you, rather than ones that are irritating or just okay. We both liked the model so much that we adopted it as an ongoing, quarterly strategy for ourselves and for the business.
So, at the end of each quarter, we each review the goals we have set for ourselves and then work on the next quarter’s goals. It starts with a brain dump of everything that you do, and then you categorize it into the three categories (irritating, okay, fascinating). From the beginning, a common thread for me in the “irritating” category was related to interactions with other people—them being late for appointments, not responding, being rude, etc. So I have been working on reading more things that provide insight into human psychology (something I have been fascinated with since high school) and learning more about the different personality types as presented by MBTI and DiSC.
However, when working on my ABC Model for this quarter, I realized that the issue wasn’t other people. The issue was my expectations of other people. On one hand, this would seem like a huge revelation. However, on the other hand, it seems like, “why didn’t I already know this?” because I am fully aware that the only thing I can control is my thoughts, my feelings, my actions. Yet, somehow this escaped me when I was approaching this issue.
I point this out to show that even though we may think we are self-aware in all aspects of our lives, we still have blind spots, we still have flaws. Which, honestly, isn’t a bad thing because it gives us something to learn and grow from. One of my favorite quotes around this is from Tony Robbins, “The biggest problem people have is they think they aren’t supposed to have any. And problems are the fuel for growth. Every problem is a gift—without problems, we would not grow.”
Because I’m on this lifelong journey to learn, I’m going to attempt to tackle this issue of my expectations over the next quarter or two by reading more books about human psychology and behavior—but this time keeping in the back of my mind about how I can apply it to myself—my own thoughts, feelings, actions—rather than thinking about how it applies to others.
Share your experiences and insights in the comments below!